Some people feel like they are losing in life while others feel like they are winning. But in reality, nobody is losing and nobody is winning. We feel that way, because life seems to happen for some people and not for others. So when things don’t happen for you, then it’s highly possible you’ve come to the conclusion that being successful is not for you. In that case, allow me to prove you wrong.

A long time ago I went to a soccer game with a friend. And even though I’m not at all interested in that particular sport, I accepted his invitation. I did it because I know that new experiences, outside the scope of my current experiences, always come with new insights. So I joined him, because it felt like an opportunity to grow.

During the game, I was seated next to a couple thousand people, and I came to realize that most people in life are spectators, who watch others play and do all the magic. They spend money to watch others enjoy themselves, feel good about themselves, grow abundant… they watch others play, but don’t believe they can play themselves.

After the game, most of those people return to a life, that doesn’t even closely resemble the creation they just witnessed. The spectator’s lives are not jam packed with creation or growth, but with consumption. And worse, most of those people don’t question whether or not they can do something about that or even realize they have so much more to offer. That they can become players on a field as well.

When you feel disconnected from life and not getting what you really want, it means you have become, or always have been, a spectator. Perhaps you think you are part of the game as a consumer, but you’re not. You’re not playing, not experimenting, not growing, not learning. You’re not being there 100% for yourself to make significant changes in the way you experience your life. In that case, you’re wasting away your time and emotional resources, to a life of consumption that doesn’t have the power to give you what you need.

A lot of people think it was all planned out for them to be a spectator in the game of life, but it isn’t. It doesn’t matter if you were born in a poor neighborhood. It doesn’t matter, whether or not you have a lot of money. It doesn’t matter if you’re not the brightest person. There is one thing that makes us all a creator, and it is passion, the emotional fuel that makes us believe we can achieve what others think cannot be achieved. It’s also our ability to become a proactive person, so that we can remind ourselves that we have to rely heavily on being resourcefulness, instead of believing we need a lot of resources, to get things done.

As a spectator, your focus is to watch other people play, instead of figuring out how you can become a creative person, someone who prefers to provide value to others. Players, people who consciously grow, on the other hand ask themselves what they have to do or learn to be paid to enjoy what they do.

Happiness doesn’t come from being a spectator, it comes from growing into a creator and seeing yourself transform into the person you want to be.

If you read one of my previous articles “consume less, create more”, you will come to understand that becoming a player on the field is a much more fulfilling option. But something inside you needs to grow stronger, before it can become noticeable to others and before you can earn your place on the field. In this life, you cannot grow rich in spirit, if you sit around and do nothing. When you’re not working on improving yourself you’re basically of the human radar. You have to find your strength, nurture it and allow it to blossom, so that you can learn to control a specific aspect of yourself to perform complex tasks and contribute to this world.

The reason why people grow rich is not because they are blessed with a talent or skill. Some people market themselves as if they are “the chosen one”. As if for some reason they were blessed with a gift from the moment they were born. Often that causes people to think “hmm, why bother… I don’t have that gift, so let’s just forget about it…”. I have a growing dislike for people who market themselves this way, because they mask the truth with their own lies, simply to make themselves feel more special. It doesn’t mean they don’t have skills, but what they do is send out a vibe that they are worth more than others, when they most certainly are not. They may sell themselves to you in such a way, but the actual truth is that every person with a particular skill simply feels a strong connection to a part of life and chooses to engage with that, over and over and over again. They connect with a strong feeling and have become so intertwined with their creations, that they no longer see the distance between themselves and what they create. They feel inseparable from what they do.

Few people go through such lengths to do what other people can’t, because it requires tremendous amounts of discipline. It also requires having a long term vision, one that resonates with your deepest desires and involves rethinking what you believe is true all the time. It requires courage to question your reasons for acting in a particular way and to admit you’re wrong about what you think most of the time. It also means you have to stop relying on the quick-fix approach and to face the actual truth. That you cannot expect to kick a ball around and immediately play with the pro’s.

In the game of life, we all have to prove our worth, our value to our environment. So ask yourself, at any level of experience: why should anyone spend their time to watch you do what you do, or pay for what you create for them? What is the value of your creation? Can you improve the quality of someone else’s life, while at the same time improving the quality of your own? What can you do to make other people feel successful?

When you’ve come to the point where you are good at creating value for others, you will notice a tangible shift in your life. The amount of personal control and the creative work you produce will become the reason why others spend time with you. It becomes the reason why people listen to the songs you play, eat the food you make, read the words you write,… and you will experience an increase in the opportunities you get to connect with like-minded people.

What you then feel, is an increase in attention that allows you to feel rich. And that’s what you want to achieve. It means you’ve been able to convince yourself that you can escape the scarcity mindset most people have and move on to an abundance mindset, without additional resources. You then prove yourself that relying on your resourcefulness works and that it pushes you forward. You will come to understand that money or power has absolutely nothing to do with feeling or becoming successful.

Life is a shared experience, and therefore also a shared creation. To feel connected to this world and to do your part, it requires spending a lot of time working on what you feel is worth the effort.

So do it. Don’t sit there and watch other people play. Get in the game!