To answer this question, we first have to ask the question of how “winning in life” is defined. Most define winning as being the victor in a game. So how does one become a victor in life? What is becoming victorious in life all about, how is it defined?

In our USA society, we tend to measure victory as the attainment of position, prestige, and having lots of material possessions as being victorious. Yet, we Americans are only one group of people occupying space on planet earth, and most of the world does not define victory in this manner. Rather, as my friends in the Philippines and other countries in Asia remind me daily, victory can mean peace of mind, contentment, health, joy, contentment, and great personal relationships with family and friends.

However one defines victory in life, our chance of attaining it is not based on where we are in life at this moment in time. It is based on how we deal with the cards that are dealt us throughout our lifetime.

I look at life somewhat like a game of cards. At birth, each of us is dealt a basic “hand” with which to start. Some of us have certain innate talents and skills passed to us by the gene mix of our parents, which means certain of us will be taller, shorter, physically stronger, more attractive, and stronger than others. Then as education, a supportive and positive association and environment is added to the mix (or the lack thereof), our life begins to take shape. Our self image and self esteem begins to form, and is pretty well set in place by age 7 or 8 – be it good or bad.

Subsequently, during those peer pressured teen years, we look at the “cards we have been dealt” and make mental judgments as to whether we have a “winning hand”. Decisions teens make at this critical point in life regarding “winning” shape their life. Unfortunately, many teens who have not been dealt what they consider a winning hand, make bad decisions which set them up for failure in the game of life. We let circumstances (or peers) determine who we are, and if those circumstances are negative, most of us let them define us. We then tend to cling to these circumstances and conclude that we will never win in the game of life.

Others of us who successfully navigate those teen years without having made too many bad decisions, as well as those of us who made good decisions, will again and again in life be dealt a new “hand” of cards from a reshuffled deck. Life is a continuous process of dealing with a new hand of cards. For me, it seems to have been dealt about every 7 to 10 years. Every time the deck is shuffled and we receive a new “hand”, we find ourselves wanting to once again make a judgment of whether we now have the “winning hand”. Yet, without truly understanding how to win, we tend to make the same wrong decisions (or accept a fatalistic attitude and make no decisions), all because we simply (i) do not understand the simple but basic definition of winning, and (ii) lack knowledge of the basic commandments of achievement.

Winning is not predicated on having the “winning hand” (your current circumstances). To think in this manner leads you to think that winning is all about luck; that it is all about having the “winning hand”. People search their entire life for the right circumstances to sneak up on them. This is not how the game of life is won. The game
of life is won by overcoming, in spite of the circumstances we have been dealt.

You must come to the understanding that winning is not about a point in time. It is not about winning the first round of poker, not about winning the first hand you are dealt. Winning in the game of life is about the successive realization of daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals. Every 7 to 10 years the cards will be reshuffled and you will be dealt a new hand. In the game of life, at some time, sooner or later, you will be faced with at least one if not all the major challenges in life – health, financial, and relationship. It is not a question of will you be facing one of these challenges. I have faced them – combat, cancer, malaria, dengue, divorce, bankruptcy, poverty and riches. Throughout these changing circumstances, I found that the real question to be answered is not why are they happening to me but, rather, how will I deal with these challenges. How resilient will I be, how quickly will I get back up and on the playing field of the game of life? Life is not fair. Simply, life is what it is, and the circumstances we face are what they are.

Unfortunately, we create many of our current bad circumstances by bad decisions from the past. Yet, they are what they are. It is wasted energy to wet on ourselves and commiserate about how bad and how unfair our circumstances are. Conversely, all our energy needs to be focused on living our daily life – on the job, in our business, with our children, our spouse, and our friends – with a basic set of commandments which move us daily, weekly, monthly and yearly toward winning the game of life.

Ten Commandments for Winning the Game of Life

Below are listed what I consider to be the Top Ten commandments. My game plan in life contains a total of Fifteen Commandments, but I will deal with the other five in a later article.

- Dreams and visions

The dream is the beginning of every achievement and every overcoming of bad circumstances. Without a dream of a better way or a better life, it is almost impossible to start the overcoming process. You have to identify, get a vision of, and believe in a dream.

- Have a plan of action

The dream alone is not enough. Following the dream must be the establishment of an action plan. You must develop a process, a road map, a way of getting to your dream.

Otherwise, your dream is simply a “daydream”. You may need a life coach or a mentor to help you with the building the plan of action.

- Have a great work habit

Next comes putting action and work into executing the work habit. The dream and the plan are worthless if one never off the couch and starts putting in some work to change his circumstances.

- Today matters, no procrastination

Behind the action, there needs to be a change in attitude, and a change in thinking from negative to positive. Thinking and talking needs to change from “why is this happening to me, I am such a loser”, to “what do I need to do to change these circumstances I find myself in, and what blessing are awaiting me once I change my circumstances”.

- Associate with other success minded people

A key to being able to change and maintain the positive mental attitude necessary to changing your thinking and speaking is to, if necessary, change your association. Get away from negative, energy draining, non-winning people, and join and associate with groups of upbeat, positive mental attitude people. You will either rise or fall to the level of those with whom you associate.

- Submit your pride and ego

Get rid of any silly pride you are holding onto, and submit your ego to anyone willing to help you. There is no room for pride when one is fighting an internal and external battle to change our circumstances in life. It is about getting up, surviving another hour, another day, and another week while putting into action our game plan to achieve the dream of new circumstances.

- Give it up to God, but work like it depends on you

Giving it up to God will require you to get your pride and ego out of the way. As long as you think you will change things all on your own, you will simply wail away like a dog trying to scratching at fleas. Submit yourself to God, and walk in faith that he is in control and his desire for your life is to bless you and prosper you in every area of your life. With this belief, everything else falls in line.

- Be accountable

You must be accountable to yourself. If you commit to change your circumstance, and start on the action plan, stick to it. If you fall off the plan today, get back on tomorrow. The point is to stay steady to the task at hand, changing your circumstances. Don’t let any lame excuses get in the way.

- Develop people skills

If you are lacking in this area, immediately begin developing people skills. The quickest and best way to do this is to start reading people skill books immediately. Those who win in a job environment, in a career, in a marriage, and in any environment where people are involved (pretty much everywhere in life unless you live on a deserted island); those that achieve the most are not those who are most technically competent. It is those who have developed people skills along the way.

- Be educated about your chosen work

What you choose as a vocation or career, get good at your craft, and never stop learning, adapting to the newest and latest skills, embracing change, and always staying current. All that lives on planet earth is either growing or decaying – nothing living stands still. We humans are no exception. So get good at your craft, whatever that is.

Additional Success Resources